How to avoid making wrong choices?
This is a conversation between Sushma and me on wrong choices.
Sushma(S):Next question that I had is…Sometimes, when we make the wrong choices…because of some reasons, you skip your workout or diet and you have that guilt within you. I mean, you’ve been strictly working out and dieting and then you suddenly mess up in an instance. So, we feel very bad about that. So, how do we be more forgiving towards ourselves?
I:No, that’s good. Feel very bad. Take responsibility. Feeling bad is a very good thing, so that you’ll not repeat it again because you know that you’ll feel bad. So, feel bad. No, but I hear you. I understand what you’re trying to say. Be forgiving. Accept yourself. Take baby steps, okay?
We’ve lived a certain way till now. A fantastic thing about you is that you are aware. You’re aware that you’re a perfectionist. You’re aware that you’re hard on yourself. So many of us lack this awareness. They don’t know why they’re feeling bad Or if they’re perfectionists. The good thing is, you’re aware. What comes with awareness is a choice. You can start choosing. So, the thing is – You were on a strict diet and then you cheated. And you’re very hard on yourself.
S:-Yeah. Beating myself up literally.
I: I’ll tell you why that is happening to you, okay? That’s not wrong. I’ll tell you why you’re doing that. You have let yourself down. You were so inspired to maintain a diet. You were so hopeful. But, you found some food item to binge on. Now, what will your inner self, your little child think? You’re letting yourself down, Sushma. You know what I mean? And, it’s feeling bad. You have to be there for yourself, no matter what.
I:And your inner self is beating you up because you’re finally finding your ground. It’s rebelling saying, ‘Ah, you cheated. What’s wrong with you?’
It’s a very good thing that’s happening to you. That whole process is very much necessary. Be there for yourself. Don’t cheat. There’s nothing like cheating. Why should you cheat? We cheat only when it comes to food.
Every other relationship…If a spouse comes and says,’ Oh, I just cheated today…’What nonsense is that! How can you be like, ‘Oh, I just cheated!’ Doesn’t work, right? In every other area, cheating is wrong. But, when it comes to food, it’s okay to cheat for a day?
Why would your inner self tolerate that? Your true self. It’s losing that respect for us. You’re letting yourself down. If we don’t care about ourselves, how could we possibly care for others? First, be there for yourself, okay? And there’s no cheat day, Sushma. Your body is the most important asset. If our body is not in shape, we can’t achieve anything.
And, no matter how much money or fame we have, if you’re not healthy, what’s the point? Are you going to enjoy it? You have all the money in the world, and then you have stomachache. Any pain for that matter or low energy…Would you be able to enjoy your success?
You need to be thriving with health. Energy should be flowing through your body. Like I told you, there are techniques, tools and strategies. Ways to become more aware. How do you get the angel and devil under your control? You don’t have to use too much will power. Food is a celebration. Living is a celebration. Enjoy life. Always remember to enjoy every minute.
That’s when your body will be giving the right vibrations.
You might be wondering, ‘How can I enjoy life? I have all these cravings.’
But, I’ll tell you something. Every food item has a substitute, okay?
The same chocolate cake, you can make it with healthy ingredients.
Be creative! Change your taste buds. White sugar is horrible, not just health wise. If you start consuming honey and dates, you won’t like white sugar anymore. It’s been ages since I had white sugar because all my taste buds have changed. Even if I have a piece of cake today, my body just rejects it.
I get really uncomfortable because the body’s not used to eating it. So, change it.
Start being there for yourself. Be creative. ‘Okay. I like this. But, I’m going to make it more healthy.’ ‘What’s the plan?’ Also, check on your beliefs. What are your limiting beliefs? All of us have them. ‘I’m a perfectionist regarding food.’ ‘I’m like this. I’m like that.’ No! You’re not a perfectionist. You write an empowering belief saying, ‘I’m perfectly fine the way I am’. ‘I am enough!’ ‘I love myself!’ ‘I enjoy eating good food.’ ‘I have a great healthy body.’ These are all positive affirmations, okay?
Change the way you think. Your thoughts, feelings and beliefs – Change them gradually. It took really long to inculcate those. So, it’s going to take equally long now. Write it down 10-20 times. Pen down your vision.
Keep looking at it. Write your goals underneath. Forget about perfectionism and everything else. Your inner child is making you beat yourself up.
You’re feeling let down. Don’t. Be there for yourself. Suppose your child or some kid wants to eat well and you ask them to eat junk all of a sudden. It’s not fair, is it? You know what I mean? Why is it that you do that to yourself? And there’s no cheat day. No cheat day, okay? You’ll regress and coming back to your old routine would be really difficult. You know what I mean? So, now you know why you’re feeling like that? Yes. It’s good. Feel bad. And, don’t use will power.
Use your positive feelings. Write down positive affirmations. And, notice your inner dialogue. Also, be aware of everything. In awareness itself so much can happen. Devil’s power will be going down. And then, you’ll start making better choices. Your angel will start working its way up. And slowly, the devil’s power will go off. Suddenly, it will be up again. If we relax, it will shoot right up. So, be aware. Always be aware.
S: Just jotting down some notes here. Okay. Okay, so…So, Manjula… I have a similar question. When you’re disciplined on your weight loss journey, the results are visible. And, that feels really exciting. But sometimes, our focus shifts from the process and we start to obsess over the results. How do you divert your focus from the results and channel it towards enjoying the journey?
I:Right. This is what most of us miss, Sushma.
So, the thing is you need to enjoy the process. The whole journey.
When you get started on your weight loss journey, what you need to do is enjoy the process in the sense that the whole journey should be fun. What you’re eating. How you’re exercising. Focusing on the results is good sometimes. You’ve already envisioned the result. Your vision is your result.
The result you want is to lose 10-15 kilos, have a great body. That is your result. That is your vision. Vision and Result are the same thing.
Forget about it later. Okay? Alright? Your vision is clear. You have these practice steps. That is what you need to focus on. Whatever you focus on is what you’ll create. Most often, while we’re thinking about the vision, we forget to enjoy the process.
You’re so attached to the vision that you’re not enjoying the process.
When you don’t enjoy the process, there’s a negative vibration around you.
See, life is all about enjoying the positive state of life, the natural state.
That’s when your vibrations will attract whatever you want.
If you don’t have that vibrational frequency, we can’t achieve the result we want. That is why we should enjoy each and every moment whilst enjoying the process. You should enjoy the food that you eat. Have a fun workout session – Something which you enjoy doing. Maybe Zumba. Then, sit down and do your breathing exercises. Every single thing you do, make the process enjoyable.
When you’re doing this, don’t think about the future, the result.
Forget about the goals that you’ve set. Live in the moment.
Past has passed. Start now! So, don’t be in the future. Don’t be in the past.
Be in the now. Enjoy the present moment and the process. You just see the result. It’s an automatic by product. Whether you like it or not, you’ll achieve the desired result. Enjoy the process! Enjoy every single thing.
Your workout should be fun. The food you’re eating should be fun.
It should be a celebration. Spend time with your family. Your life should be fun. Enjoy the process and see the difference. Yeah? Great! I hope you got all your questions answered. This was so much fun.
S:Yes, Manjula. Thank you so much, and looking forward to more content on your channel.
I:Always. Always! I’m there, in service.